Humor for the day!

I thought you might like that one!

I have no right to talk smack right now. Our deer season started 9/1. The new captain for SCDNR will not issue night time hog hunting depradation permits until after deer season ends, which will be 1/1/2017. Night time hog hunting is legal starting 2/1/2017. If I see a hog during legal deer hours I can shoot it, but legal shooting ends one hour after official sunset. I'm so bored. I haven't killed anything in months.

i'm not suggesting you take matters into your own hands or anything, but you do have a suppressor, don't you

Corn Thieves can't jump...

Pneumonia committed suicide

Hillary attempts to impersonate Monica Lewinsky.

Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!"

"Great Hillary, but how?" asked Bill.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most MiddleClass Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Butte, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't youBill and Hillary Clinton?"

"Yes we are!" said Hillary, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,

Lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Hillary asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come In and look under the dog's tail?

Is it some sort of custom?"

"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there Running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever In here with two a$$holes!"

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window. I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI,... CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat me down. If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.

Hot Damn...Safe at last. Isn’t this administration great or what?

That pretty much covers 98% of my thoughts.

Ratdog68. If you had a Rebel flag flying and a NRA sticker in your window you were probably allready under 24/7 surveillance.
Thats probably sad but true.

Apparently they ran out of one type direction of one way sign......

Or it's another one of the "not my damn job" department....

Must be in Houston.

Some rifles are more phallic than others......

Dj's favorite hunting buddy!! I think we can all guess WHY!

you could have at least caught her when she's fixed up

Oso Grande said:

Some rifles are more phallic than others......
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There's my balls!!!

Is OneK really DJ's alternative account or a real person? OH Look he has a SUPPORTER banner, so he must be real!!