Humor for the day!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by sjb67, Jul 11, 2013.



  1. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

    His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

    Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

    He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

    Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

    The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

    The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
     
  2. JPM_6.8

    JPM_6.8 New Member

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    That’s good!
     
  3. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Here's a math trick that really works.
    It will take you approximately ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite movie.
    I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my mathematical calculations.
    Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough, it is my very favorite movie ... EVER!
    DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results on the list of movies at the bottom.
    You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is:

    1. Pick a number from 1-9.
    2.. Multiply that number by 3
    3. Add 3.
    4. Multiply by 3 again.
    5.. Your total will be a two-digit number.
    Add the first and second digits together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list of 20 Movies, below.


    Movie List:
    1. Gone With the Wind
    2. ET.
    3. Blazing Saddles
    4. Star Wars
    5. Forrest Gump
    6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
    7. Jaws
    8. Grease
    9. The Joe Biden concession speech
    10. Casablanca
    11. Jurassic Park
    12. Shrek
    13. Pirates of the Caribbean
    14. Titanic
    15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
    16. Home Alone
    17. Mrs. Doubtfire
    18. Al Jolson Story
    19. Wizard of Oz
    20.Singing in the Rain



    ... Now, isn't that something
     
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  4. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000.00 to pose nude in an upcoming issue?

    Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic?

    Then KFC offered a "Hillary" meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs?

    Now, KFC is offering the "Nancy Pelosi Special", consisting of nothing but left wings and chicken ****.

    Just keeping you up to date.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2020
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