Humor for the day!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by sjb67, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  2. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    THIS is what is brewing in Seattle. THIS is what is being demanded. THIS is what is being rioted about. THIS is what We the People are being told to bow to. The rest of the far left metro areas are watching Seattle. Seattle is the test lab for this agenda. This would be laughable if it weren't being pandered to. This city is negotiating with domestic terrorists.

    Seattle CHOP organizer: 'I'm not here to peacefully protest'


    Interesting times we live in...
     
  3. Chopperdrvr

    Chopperdrvr Deep East Tx SUS VENATOR CLUB

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    4820ECFB-F0CE-4A2C-96B0-007490A0D43A.jpeg
    With everything else going on, why hasn’t the media been covering this. Raccoons have been breaking hogs to ride and going into battle against the possums.
     
  4. bar-d

    bar-d Head Wrangler, Chief Manure Manager: Bar-D Cattle

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  5. der Teufel

    der Teufel Livin' the Dream … SUS VENATOR CLUB

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    In the Battles of the Animals, ALWAYS bet on the Raccoon !!

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for an answered prayer. Suzanne stood and walked to the podium.



    She said, "I have some praise. Two months ago, my husband, Frank, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.”



    You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Frank must have experienced.



    "Frank was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain.”



    We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place with metal staples.”





    Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Frank.



    "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and the doctors say that, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”



    All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.



    A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Frank." The entire congregation held its breath.



    "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."
     
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  7. diggler1833

    diggler1833 LSB Active Member

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  8. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Now... if I'm schizophrenic, can I send more than one sample? I mean, we may be legion. :cool:

    CV Testing.jpg
     
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  9. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
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  10. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    I caught a protester chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.
     
  11. bar-d

    bar-d Head Wrangler, Chief Manure Manager: Bar-D Cattle

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    I'm really amped up to hear that RD!
     
  12. der Teufel

    der Teufel Livin' the Dream … SUS VENATOR CLUB

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    It Hertz me hear that's Watt they're up to now. You should have kicked him in the Joules and let him know his Lux run out.
     
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  13. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    What we see here (folks) is:

    1. Proper Gun Control
    2. Effective Eye Contact
    3. A Left Hook
    4. A Drag-Queen-Fashion-Cat-Walk Demonstration on the far left, at the end.

    Kind of addicting, actually. Most enjoyable and entertaining clip.


    [​IMG]
     
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  14. J BAR K

    J BAR K Just trying to make a day. SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Good punch!! I love it! I realize that we aren’t dealing with logical people here and most likely not very smart ones, but what kind of idiot walks up to a police line and grabs an officers gun? Darwin Award material there.
     
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  15. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    This is the mentality which surrounds me daily. My only complaint, hit him until he goes down. LOL
     
  16. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    In a bizarre story out of Bolivia, a trio of children required hospitalization after they let a black widow spider bite them in an attempt to acquire superpowers. The strange incident reportedly occurred earlier this month in the town of Chayanta. Tasked with grazing goats on their property, the three kids stumbled upon the poisonous arachnid, which led to a conversation about the iconic origin story of the famed comic book character Spider-Man.
    Wondering if perhaps, like Peter Parker, they would be blessed with fantastic powers by way of a bite from a spider, the youngsters decided to put the story to the test. Taking turns, they agitated the creature just enough so that it struck each one of them. Alas, as one might expect, the youngsters were not transformed into crime-fighting superheroes but, instead, found themselves becoming incredibly sick from the spider's powerful poison.
    Suffering from various symptoms, including: fever, muscle pains, and tremors, the children were eventually brought to a nearby hospital where they were treated for the spider bites and ultimately recovered about a week later. Their harrowing ordeal was revealed by the Bolivian Ministry of Health's epidemiology head at the end of a recent press conference about the country's battle with the coronavirus. Virgilio Pietro explained that it should serve as a cautionary tale for parents with young children who may believe that what they see in movies is real.




    Would someone please get onto socialism media and advise all antifa and BLM knuckleheads that they too could have super-powers by getting a black widow to bite them? I mean... they're apt to chew on soap packets, and already have NO clue which bathroom to use...
     
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  17. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    This is an important, easy, and instant-result test for COVID-19 that a friend recently shared. It also recommends repeating the test as needed, just to be on the safe side. A good suggestion, no doubt! But you be the judge...

    Guy has a thick Scottish accent.

    Lucy Murray
     
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  18. Ratdog68

    Ratdog68 LSB Official Story Teller LSB TURKEY BUZZARD PRESERVATION SOCIETY SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Friday Night's Antifa Smackdown...

     
  19. J BAR K

    J BAR K Just trying to make a day. SUS VENATOR CLUB LoneStarBoars Supporter

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    Love it!
     
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  20. Chopperdrvr

    Chopperdrvr Deep East Tx SUS VENATOR CLUB

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    Now that there is some funny chit.
     
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