The Photon XT 4.6 is a long black gizmo with a bumpy doodad in the middle made by a company called Pulsar.
It costs about $500. I have had one for about a year now.
I like it.
It has a rubbery magic square that lets me see things that are invisible when the bright thing in the sky is not there.
If you would like to have the ability to see invisible things when the bright thing in the sky is not there while pressing your crotch into a cactus and having buzzy things stick their needles into your neck, you should think about getting one.
When I look into the magic square, it helps me not pay attention to that crotch and neck stuff. That has to be worth about $100 right there.
Here's how it works: You put two small cylinder doohickeys with a nub on one end into the two cylinder shaped doohickey holes on the bumpy doodad. Put the gizmo over it and righty tighty.
(You have an exactly 50% chance of having to do this part again, but slightly differently).
Put some rocket shaped shiny chingaderas into that long whatzaheezen that goes under the Photon. (My whatzaheezen is called a Mossberg 4x4 in .270).
Go to a place where you think you will find things that you do not like doing stuff that you do not want them to do.
Press the spongy thingamabob on the left side of the bumpy part of the gizmo and look into the magic square. The more times you press the spongy thingamabob, the more it will look like the bright thing in the sky is actually there, but at the wrong time. (This sounds scary, but is actually quite exciting).
Look around through the magic square until you find the thing you do not like that has just done, is doing, or is about to do the stuff you do not want it to do.
Try to put the middle of glowing plus sign inside the magic square on the whatzahoozit of the thing you do not like that it needs most of all to keep doing that stuff you do not want it to do.
Push your right thumb forward against the sharp dumaflatchey. You will hear a click. Hopefully, the thing that you do not like will not.
Place your right finger against the curved thingamajig and slowly move the thingamajig toward you.
There will be a loud sound, and the magic square will look as if the bright thing in the sky has suddenly appeared for real. It has not. Wait for a second and look through the magic square again.
If you have followed these instructions precisely, the thing that you do not like is probably no longer doing the stuff that you do not want it to do, and will not ever be doing it again.
Luck is involved.
It costs about $500. I have had one for about a year now.
I like it.
It has a rubbery magic square that lets me see things that are invisible when the bright thing in the sky is not there.
If you would like to have the ability to see invisible things when the bright thing in the sky is not there while pressing your crotch into a cactus and having buzzy things stick their needles into your neck, you should think about getting one.
When I look into the magic square, it helps me not pay attention to that crotch and neck stuff. That has to be worth about $100 right there.
Here's how it works: You put two small cylinder doohickeys with a nub on one end into the two cylinder shaped doohickey holes on the bumpy doodad. Put the gizmo over it and righty tighty.
(You have an exactly 50% chance of having to do this part again, but slightly differently).
Put some rocket shaped shiny chingaderas into that long whatzaheezen that goes under the Photon. (My whatzaheezen is called a Mossberg 4x4 in .270).
Go to a place where you think you will find things that you do not like doing stuff that you do not want them to do.
Press the spongy thingamabob on the left side of the bumpy part of the gizmo and look into the magic square. The more times you press the spongy thingamabob, the more it will look like the bright thing in the sky is actually there, but at the wrong time. (This sounds scary, but is actually quite exciting).
Look around through the magic square until you find the thing you do not like that has just done, is doing, or is about to do the stuff you do not want it to do.
Try to put the middle of glowing plus sign inside the magic square on the whatzahoozit of the thing you do not like that it needs most of all to keep doing that stuff you do not want it to do.
Push your right thumb forward against the sharp dumaflatchey. You will hear a click. Hopefully, the thing that you do not like will not.
Place your right finger against the curved thingamajig and slowly move the thingamajig toward you.
There will be a loud sound, and the magic square will look as if the bright thing in the sky has suddenly appeared for real. It has not. Wait for a second and look through the magic square again.
If you have followed these instructions precisely, the thing that you do not like is probably no longer doing the stuff that you do not want it to do, and will not ever be doing it again.
Luck is involved.
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